With all the talk about “self-care,” it can be easy to think that if we just do things to treat ourselves, we will feel happier and enjoy life more. At the same time, fitting in all of these recommended self-care tasks while also managing life can seem overwhelming. Where should you start?

How about shifting focus from what you do to what you want to be?

TO BE OR NOT TO BE

Compassion means “to suffer with.” Most people experience compassion at some point, whether it’s result of seeing a sad story on the news or listening to a loved one’s difficulties. This experience can often motivate actions, as well. For example, you might donate to a cause or offer kind words to a loved one.

What we so often fail to do is offer a loving response to ourselves.

Self-compassion involves viewing and treating yourself in a different way. Instead of judgment, criticism, and cruelty, it is possible to offer yourself kindness and understanding. Choosing to be loving toward yourself is not weak, narcissistic, selfish, or complacent. Actually, research has shown that those who practice self-compassion:

• Showed more strength in adjusting to difficult situations in life, earlier and with more lasting effects.
• Have a more emotionally stable view of themselves whether praise or criticism is received. result, we may feel scared, irritable, angry, and exhausted.
• Were perceived as more caring, accepting, and encouraging of autonomy by partners in intimate relationships.
• Are more motivated to engage in positive change.

CHOOSE COMPASSION

Choosing to treat yourself with compassion is not based on your confidence, feelings, success, or any other factor. It is a choice. This choice acknowledges that life is full of all kinds of experiences and feelings: sadness, anger, happiness, disappointment, confusion, satisfaction, and grief to name a few. The goal, then, is to be caring toward yourself in any and all situations, which includes paying attention to how you speak to yourself.

Here are some simple ways to be kind to yourself:

• Consider how you would respond to a friend, small child, or animal, and offer yourself a similar response.
• Remember that everyone suffers. You are not alone, and there is not necessarily anything “wrong” with you.
• Give yourself permission to be imperfect.
• Speak with a supportive person, whether that is a friend, family member, or mental health professional.

Since we are human beings (not human doings), don’t just do self-care, be aware, compassionate, and present.

https://eap.sccgov.org/sites/g/files/exjcpb1066/files/eap-nwslttr-sprg-2020.pdf